will you remember me, cuz i know i wont forget you
Mood:  d'oh
everything is moving so fast now
and i forget some people in korea might still check this, like my exchange student friends. plus i'm not writing much in my journals here, i just can't findthe time i guess to catch up.

first, i was suppose to hang out with jun-hyeok on wednesday, the day before i left. he canceled really last minute, and had school things to do. so i was pretty wrecked about that. havent talked to him since but because he's not responding to cyworld memos and i can't call. i guess he has a girlfriend now, so that could explain a lot. thats dissapointing. but kwang-hun came to visit, and dany, very short notice came up from gun-san to visit me. that made me really happy. i had been upset with kwang-hun for something, but instantly forgave, well not forgave, but dismissed for the time being, what i was upset about when dany arrived. he stayed until 11, then left. me and dany stayed up almost all night talking and all sorts of things. i dont knwo what i would have done if she wasnt there with me. honestly i dont know. julian called just before we left to tell me he coudlnt get a bus to the airport. but at least he tried. my family couldn't even stay to get me on the plane, they left me at the baggage check counter with dany to get everything straightened out.

at first they warned me at the baggage check counter, that i might not be able to bring my guitar with me ont he plane, and if i coudlnt i would have to put it in the cargo hold. surely it would be ruined, so i was relaly stressing about that. luckily the purser or who ever has last say over it, didnt really seem to notice. phew! at the security check i had to leave dany. it was sad, but we promised we would meet again. im gonna miss her soo much, shes more than a friend, i love her,and my whole exchange student family, soo much!! its hard leaving them and not haring from them everyday, or being able to just call them up, see whats going on. i cant believe it. but now i'm in the usa and can talk to rose more often. thats a sure plus!!


i woke up at 7 am on june second. got on the plane at 10:30, am ,got to dallas at 11:30 am...but it was a 12 hour plane flight. i waited for 2 hours for my flight to boston, and got there at the logan international airport at 6:16 pm, on june second. i was up a loooong time. so...

i got home on the second...that was about 2 weeks ago...
and its been a hectic 2 weeks. first, the trip home was amazingly long and boring. i thought i'd never make it to boston. my watch was still on korean time and i thought I had missed my plane to boston from dallas, but actually i had 2 hours to wait. ooops number 1. i hadn't exchanged won to dollars before i left korea either. i had korean coins too, but i can't use them in dallas to make a phone call or anything. dany had exchanged me a 100 dollar bill for 10 10,000 won bills before i left. i still had a few won left, but you coulcnt get them exchanged for dollars and can really break a hundered for coffee. so i sat and waited patiently for my flight to boston.

(the boys are here we're going camping, so i btter go now, more later)

will you remember me, cuz i know i wont forget you
Mood:  d'oh
everything is moving so fast now
and i forget some people in korea might still check this, like my exchange student friends. plus i'm not writing much in my journals here, i just can't findthe time i guess to catch up.

first, i was suppose to hang out with jun-hyeok on wednesday, the day before i left. he canceled really last minute, and had school things to do. so i was pretty wrecked about that. havent talked to him since but because he's not responding to cyworld memos and i can't call. i guess he has a girlfriend now, so that could explain a lot. thats dissapointing. but kwang-hun came to visit, and dany, very short notice came up from gun-san to visit me. that made me really happy. i had been upset with kwang-hun for something, but instantly forgave, well not forgave, but dismissed for the time being, what i was upset about when dany arrived. he stayed until 11, then left. me and dany stayed up almost all night talking and all sorts of things. i dont knwo what i would have done if she wasnt there with me. honestly i dont know. julian called just before we left to tell me he coudlnt get a bus to the airport. but at least he tried. my family couldn't even stay to get me on the plane, they left me at the baggage check counter with dany to get everything straightened out.

at first they warned me at the baggage check counter, that i might not be able to bring my guitar with me ont he plane, and if i coudlnt i would have to put it in the cargo hold. surely it would be ruined, so i was relaly stressing about that. luckily the purser or who ever has last say over it, didnt really seem to notice. phew! at the security check i had to leave dany. it was sad, but we promised we would meet again. im gonna miss her soo much, shes more than a friend, i love her,and my whole exchange student family, soo much!! its hard leaving them and not haring from them everyday, or being able to just call them up, see whats going on. i cant believe it. but now i'm in the usa and can talk to rose more often. thats a sure plus!!


i woke up at 7 am on june second. got on the plane at 10:30, am ,got to dallas at 11:30 am...but it was a 12 hour plane flight. i waited for 2 hours for my flight to boston, and got there at the logan international airport at 6:16 pm, on june second. i was up a loooong time. so...

i got home on the second...that was about 2 weeks ago...
and its been a hectic 2 weeks. first, the trip home was amazingly long and boring. i thought i'd never make it to boston. my watch was still on korean time and i thought I had missed my plane to boston from dallas, but actually i had 2 hours to wait. ooops number 1. i hadn't exchanged won to dollars before i left korea either. i had korean coins too, but i can't use them in dallas to make a phone call or anything. dany had exchanged me a 100 dollar bill for 10 10,000 won bills before i left. i still had a few won left, but you coulcnt get them exchanged for dollars and can really break a hundered for coffee. so i sat and waited patiently for my flight to boston.

(the boys are here we're going camping, so i btter go now, more later)

"so make the best of this test and dont ask why
Mood:  happy
its not a question but a lesson learned in time
it's something unpredictable
but in the end its right
i hope you had the time of your life"

so since i havent been able to update since that crazy monday, its about a week later but it feels like alife time. i could have lived 3 lifetimes over, i've been soooo busy!!! its been unreal, but ill try and sum it up for anyone who has been reading this and is worried about the current situation. since i got kicked outof school i was living with the koeran teacher. i had never met him before i went to live wiht him, he wasn't one of my teachers. he's a 3rd grade teacher i think. his family is really nice, and they have a son and a daughter but she was in seoul studying at a univeristy so i didnt see her at all. it was realy great staying htere and i was very very thankful to have some place to go last minute. the first night i was there we wetn to vist a friend of his, who is also ironically the vice principle of st.pauls girls highschool. after learning that it was a lil akward. from what mr soh had told me it was her and the principles and his decision for me not to go to that schoool any more. but later she told me she hadn't said she wanted me to leave the school. they were on my side they said.

it rained a lot that night, i remember cuz we got soaked walking to his friends house, and i had no clothes to change into, since no one went to pick up my luggage at ji-na's house. its like an omen; it rained the day i moved to soeul too. tuesday was really sad, but i did better wednesday. i was more prepared, i knew i was leaving and could ocme to terms with it. packing suddenly when ididnt even konw i was changing families was really sudden, and i still had to go to school that day. i didn't cry nearly as much on wednesday. everyone knew it was my last day by then. first they told me i would go to seoul to a new family that morning. the morning came and went, and no one called for me. at noon they told me i would go for my things at ji-na's house and go back tothe korean teachers house at 3. the girls in my class threw a lil partyfor me, it was last minute, as was the whole moving business, but they pulled everything together prety well. they have me a framed picture of me wtih the 2-3 class. it was great. i was doing fine, until ga-yeong started crying. that was all i needed. 3 came and went to and they told me i would leave at 5 instead. so for the next hour we all just talked and spent quality time together. 5shi-e mr soh came to get me and the vice principle gave me a ride back to kim sang-bae's house. (thats thekorean teachers name) they had brought my luggage, and everything. i stayed with them until sunday. they were too too nice, always doing things with me so i wouldnt be bored, and talking to me, letting me watch tv or use the computer when ever i wanted. on thursday, the first day i didn't have to go toschool (ahhhh freedom) rose called me! we were about to go shopping, so i had to cut it shorter than i had planned, but we still talkedfor about 30 minutes. it was so great to hear from her, and when i get back to the usa we plan to call much more often. since the phone bill wont be so outrageous. afterwards i went shopping with mr kim's wife. we'll call her kye-ryong HM cuz kye-ryong was the city they lived in. HM is host mom, you see? we went out to eat too. friday we went swimming at the public pool near their house. it was fun, but its not like lake swimming. they said i swim like "lake style" not pool lane style.but im still a good swimmer. they took me to dunkin donuts afterwards. i love that family. saturday KG called and said the principle wantedme to move out of that family i dont know why but i guess she just wanted all ties with me and that school severed. what? i wasnt that that bad. realy. julian has been so much more than helpful since i found out i was getting kicked out. he got in contact with one of his friends, ju-yeon, who i met last time i was in seoul,and asked her if i could stay there for the last 2 weeks i was in korea. ju-yeon and her family, being nice nice people, sait that theycould make that work. i got the information to KG, who then talked to chang-won park about it. if i hadn't found this family i would have gone to live with him. (chang-won park) but thankfully,he was allfor the idea (and to show his appreciation to julians family for making those arrangements for me, he sent him a "complimentary" box of ramyeon to his family. oh gee, your too kind. haha) then on saturday we went swimming again, and out to lunch. later they took me to dae-jeon to buy a luggage bag. PHEW cuz damn did i reallyreally need another luggage bag. it was only 61,000 won (bout 60$) and its good.

sunday at 11 i took the bus to seoul. it was really sunny and bright. then randomly on the way to seoul itjust started down pouring out of no wheres. strange. when i got to seoul ju-yeons mom and dad were waiting for me at the bus stop. their house is in mok-tong. its about an hour from kang-nam, where i always meet julian, but only a few minutes from kwang-hun's area of seoul, and aju-yeons univeristy. she goes to yeon-sei. its the second best university in all of korea. pretty impressive right?? seoul really has beautiful people. ask anyone they'll tell you so. and its true. that univeristy because its such a top univeristy in the whole country, has a lot of exchange students, and all teh students i think can speak english. the first class i took with ju-yeon was an english class. they were speaking in very good english.it was a politics class, which is really interesting to me. it was about japan, and the situation with japan and korea, and japan and the usa. if you dont already knwo this, i'll tell you. korea really hates japan. haha. so theywere talking about japans identity and they want to be forgiven and think they have suffered enough, but korea and the other countries say no of course you havent. then this one student, out of the blue askes, so when is japan gonna sink anyways? lol counting down the days? it was great. there was a japanese student in that class, put a lil tension onthe subject, but humorous anyways. the other 2 classes i took with her were in korean, and were really realy boring. i was trying soooooo hard not to fall asleep in the third one. wow i would have felt really bad if i had. oops! i didn't really meet many people, the studets at julians universityare definitely more friendly than the students there. it would be nice to go to that university for a year of college, i mean the campus is nice and its a good place, but i dont htink i'd get much out of that as an experience. so that was tuesday. monday i didnt go to school with ju-yeon, i was real tired from packing and everything. it really had been a stressful week you know?

i met julin monday night, i took the bus to the subway and then caught a subway to kang-nam, so i was pretty proud of myself for not getting lost. seoul is something like the 11th biggest city in the world. and i got to where iwas going with out incident, it was quite the accomplishment for me. we walked around, got some food, went out for a drink, and i got a transportation card, so i can take the subways freely. great! kang-nam is a nice place to just walk around, and it has good shops and friendly people. its also not so difficult getting into bars either. clubs are more difficult to get into, idno why. we might try going friday for ju-yeons birthday. *crosses fingers* i took the subway home a lil too late,and the buses stop running at midnight, so i had to take a taxi. this is complicated, because it involves looking "really lost and stupid" (julians adive), asking ot use someones phone, getting help, and i got really lucky cuz a woman took a taxi with me and paid for it, because her stop was right next to mine. heh heh.

tuesday night after visiting ju-yeons school i went to kang-nam to meet up with julian and his girlfriend. we went out for drinks, and dokk-bokki, my idea. jae-il said he was too busy to meet up with us, which kind of ticked me off. he's always too busy. but romi, julians girlfriend, called him againfor us, told him she would buy drinks and good food, and you just cant refuse an invitation from someone older than you. especially if they are buying the drinks and food. we had to leave at 10 so didn't get to see much of them, but it was better than nothing. then today i went to julians college to visit people. now we are in julians class, its a computer class, they're making 3d stuff i guess. i'll go back to seoul sometime today. maybe tomorrow night i'll meet kyang-hun, nd i'm suppose to call emilio some time today too. just a few days now, never a dull moment!!

big news from maine
http://www.wabi.tv/broadcast_script.asp?at=5/16/2005+5:30pm#NAKED

http://www.streaking.org/phorum/read.php?f=1&i=5513&t=5510

feels the sting, dries her eyes:: finds her self...opens the door and sighs
Mood:  accident prone
people see right through you
everyone one who knew you well
falls apart
by herself
days are long and nothing is wasted

i'll just put the email i wrote to julian in here. its what i'v been emailing people who should knowwhats going on. it sums up everthing that happened pretty good last tuesday.

[but we didnt knwo if it was ok by my school for monday,cuz we asked last minute, and we had no plan of me even missing tuesday, so really it was neither of ours fault, it just didnt have to make me look bad when you wrote to him. neither of us are to blame. anyways right now im way way to upset about other things to bother arguing about it. i called you today before i had even gotten to school. between when i woke up this morning and right now could have been months, it was a long long day. and its not even 7 pm yet!
i know your dying to find out what happened. so i'll leave you in suspense no longer. first i woke up at 8, and wanted to get to school on time to make a good impression you know? day of judgment and all. i get all ready and my host mom says no we will go to school together. (huh?) so then i know im in some deep shit. she is all smiling , and tells me to pack my bags. after i talked to kim gabin last night i was pretty sure they had already decided to kick me out of school, but i was not at all expecting to switch host families. that hit me really really hard. i wasnt even sure i was that morning either cuz i kinda didn't believe it, but ji-eon asked what were were doing and my host mom told her "onul, lori ga" which means lori leaves today. and i started crying of course. and asked where i was going to go. she told me i'd go to a teachers house, and gave me a name i'd never heard of. she gave me some bags and we packed everything, ( i still realy need a bigger luggage bag). then we waited around for a while, but no one came to get me so she called and found out i would go to his house later that day. so she sent me to school, smiling still. waving, have a nice day lori. oh sure..you bet. what a bitch. i oculdnt believe it. i get there and immedietly try and find jina, and was crying and no one knew anything. none of the teachers even knew. jina knew of course. it had nothing to do with her. her mom had told her last night i would leave today. but she didnt want. me and jina are really close friends. i didn't care that i was getting kicked out of school, what really hurt was being moved away from jina. shes my best friend in nonsan. so that was hard. mr soh, the english teacher, came and talked to me. he told me they had to release me from their school. noooo shit? i knew that. and he said i would go to a teachers home for the night, and tomorrow you'll never guess where im going! seoul! im so fuckin scared. chang won park is going to see me, and probably send me home, cuz he said he would if i messed up again. even though i didnt really have a chance to mess up again, he sitll might send me home early, since now i have no family and no school, and pretty much no reason to be here. so anyways, i told him all that is what i expected, and now i just needed my transcript and my money for the month of may, and i would go peacefully and quietly. but noooo, he says becuuse of the situation they can't give me my transcript, and i'm no longer a part of the schoool, they aren't required to give me my money. wtf?!?!!? i have no money! and unles i'm on the next plane to miguk then i'm pretty screwed finance wise. i've been crying all friggen day. and i think about it and everything that has happened, how my life has totally fallen through in a matter of 24 hours and i start crying again. where does it all come from? eventually i'll be totally evaporated, dehydrated, and wont have anything left to cry out i think! he said he would call the roatary people, because i wanted to go to gunsan for the remainder of my time here. i talked to the secretary like we thought i would have to do right? she was realy...dumb about all this. like lori you have to follow the rules. you broke a lot of rules do you understand? thats why you are getting kicked out. but really, after seoul i havent broken any rules, so i DONT realy understand why this all happened. then she told me lori everything is fine. FINE how far off is that???? FINE???? its sooo sooo soo far from fine. everything is NOT FINE. wtf. and chang won park will be just as helpful i'm afraid. i know he wont understand where i'm coming from. so i went back to class, and just vegged, and did nothing. i ate lunch with jina like usual. and we had art class after that. the art teacher is my home room teacher. he said he had no idea i was leaving tomorrow, he had just found out. but wtf, mr soh told me he had been going to him with problems wth me all along. so now its some big surprise?? and i really liked that teacher too! so idno. um. then what. so muhc happened. i left all my bags in the door way at jina's house, and since i'm not staying at this house for long it would be pointless to bring them here.where ever i'm going to go tomorrow, i'll just bring them with me then. during art class we didnt really do anything, painted right? but the art teacher left half way through the class (its a 2 hour class) and so me and jina were sitting there, and then she starts crying, and i start crying, and we leave class cuz we are both making fools of our selves. haha. and we spent most of the second part of class outside talking and crying nd remembering. it was relaly sad. later after that i met with the principle, who gave me my money for the month of may ( i guess they reconsidered, so i was real surprised) and mr soh told me he would get the transcript for me as i had requested. so good thing i asked cuz if i hadn't they had no intention what so ever of getting those things to me. we also talked mre about why i was leaving. because i had missed a lot of days of school and my host mom had worried about me a lot. mr soh said she had called when iwas in seoul because she worried aobut me and that really ticked everyone off ( so we alreayd knew that right? strike one, i got my wwarning, i dont knwo what else i did that set them off so they decided to expel me) then he said she also called last night too. wtf???? that i knew nohting about. she said she was having problemns and because i wanst home last weekend she was worried. NO NO NO cuz i asked permission from everyone i had to, to go on that trip to gunsan. so now i dont knwo what she is talking about. i didnt do anything wrong, she just pulled that out of a hat. its such bullshit. and i have been going to school like i was suppose to ever since i got back from seoul. so they just up and decided last night that a first warning wasnt enough i guess, and they would have to expel me. it was all really hard to understand why all ths was happening. no on eunderstood it either, and it all traced back to my host mom kicking me out. since i had no home the school decided it would be good if they kicked me out too i guess. so at 5 i left and went to the korean teachers home. i had never met him but he is really really nice. sooooo relieved!!!! we left at 5:10 and went to his house. he has a son my age and a duaghter maybe a year younger or older im ot sure. but we got to his house in idno wht city. and i met his wife, and me and him and his son had supper together at his brothers restaurant they live over.its a nice place and people are being really nice to me, and at 9 when his wife gets out of work we're gonna have a party to celebrate me getting kicked out of school ^^ jk, to celebrate me visiting their home. now, my contacts are really dry and irritated from crying all day and looking at a comptuer doesnt help so im gonna go and emilios gonna call me. since i dont have my bags with me i dont have my phone book so i cant call you. i hope you had time to read all this i know tis a lot im real sorry.

well, hope things are great for you! nad maybe i'll see you sooner than you though, if i'm going to seoul, we could meet! hah! look on the bright side right? k well talk to you later
always
rori]

i'll let that sink in

EVERLAND
Mood:  energetic
i'll break it up a lil bit, cuz its a long story.
and i'll start with everland. our class trip. we had to wake up early to get to school at 7:30. well its early for me, but they usually have to be at school by that time. we were a lil later getting out than planned, but it was totally not my fault. i was awake before jina even. so no problems there. bin came and walked to school with us. everyone was waiting by te front gate for friends and for everything to start rolling. they all put so much effort into what they were wearing, because it's not every day they have a chance to dress up. its not such a big deal for me, since i wasn't expected to wear a uniform all the time. the day my family went to dae-jon with out me, jina bought a new outfit, really really cute, specifically for that occasion. very "punky" as she likes to call her fashion. i lvoe that girl, shes too cute! at 8 they did a speech thing, and everyone got on the bus. we brought like 5 buses. all my clas was on the same bus, and i sat next to jina. it was a 2.5 hour ride about...so we took plenty of pictures on the way up with sol-hee, eun-jeong, jin-yeong, hwe-hyang, hyeun-hee, hyang-rin. all my group of friends.

I was really surprised when we got there, at the amount of other buses and people. it was all groups of girls, from girl schools. jina asks, where are all the boys!! i thought i saw some, so i point "over there" her- nooo lori those are elementary school kids" oh oops my bad. yes elementary boys! assah!! haha
we went on 5-6 different rides. ka-young had the map, and that place is pretty friggin big, so we followed her. first we went on this roller coaster that had the longest line ever, it just kept going and going. right when you thought the ride beginning was aroundt he next corner you'd find another maze of people just as dissapointed as you. it was alright, but it was a 40 minute wait. it almost started raining but luckily that didn't last. it cleared up a little after.

supper time, more later

later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

everland was much much better than what i was expecting. i dont know why but i didnt give it much though, and just assumed it would be something like the bangor fair. the festivals i go to in korea are really dissapointing, so it didn't seem too crazy an assumption that their theme parks might be a let down too.

the weather, even though it started out clowdy, got really nice by noon. i even think i got a sunburn. a small one though, cuz it wasn't that that sunny. we went on the flume ride, that was a long line too, but fun. every time we were all standing still was a good opertunity for pictures. so i have a lot of pictures of me and my friends standing in lines. ga-young, and hyang-rin took most of the pictures. i didn't because my camera is a piece of crap compared to theirs' so i knew i could just scrap them off their cyworlds. the pictures i did take are in nonsan, and theres no way for me to get them now. i'll have to redownload them on this computer, but it involves reinstalling my software and im not really that motivated if i'll only be here a few days. ga-young and ji-son and calorie are not huge fans of thrilling rides, so next they went on the kiddie elephant ride. we got the cutest pictures of them, they are in my yahoo album, i just need to label them. still, not real motivated. duno why. here i can use the computer as much as i want. wahooo~~~ ^^. there was a bulavourd (or how ever you want to spell it) made to look like down town hollywood. the rollercoaster there we went on, and wow my brain was all mush when we ewre done. it was terrible. it did the loop-di-loop thing, but my head was being bounced off the sides of the rollercoaster too much for me to really enjoy the thrill of it. damn. i bet it looked funny though, haha. we watched a show put on by all foriegners. they looked british, but all around my friends are going ohhhh "for-ig-ners" so i was kind of feeling like "hey hey! you have your own foreigner right here!! yah hey! pay attention to ME!!" haha. it was cute. we got lost trying to find our way out though. it really is a big place. there were several ways we could have taken , i think we took the one that involved the most climbin of hills and steps though. ahh! what a fun experience!!! ihave the cutest picture of me and jina holding hands and walking somewhere, but i can't get it off cyworld and put it on yahoo. crappy. we were on the bus again at 3, and then went to an art museum, because osme fo the parents had complained going to a theme park was to much fun, not enough education. it wwas a really small art exhibit, with a huge, amazing garden around it. we spent more time outisde taking pictures, than inside looking at the art work. out in the garden they had a lot of pictures of naked people, which surprised me because korea is so modest usually. the museum was all in korean style, which si soo pretty. the korean entrances, and the bulding was korean style. of course. i was the most impressed with it, since museums in the usa are a lot more boring. after we had taken a sufficient amount of pictures, we were back on the bus by...4:40 at the latest. at 7 maybe, we got back. all the 2nd grade teachers were by the gate to welcome us back. i took ji-na with me to the shi-nae to buy a dress i had seen when i had gone shopping with dany. its real cute, and was only 30,000 won. we went home, and that was that.

thunder)) only happens, when it's raining ..and players (( only love you when they're playing
Mood:  surprised
theres no other way to describe this week besides surprising. really.

first, i'll put the letter chang won park wrote me. he was warning me if i don't start following school and family rules they will send me home early. oops!! LIke i said, it's been a crazy week.


[Dear Lori,

How are you, Lori? I hope you have been enjoying your school life and also Korean life. Our inbound Rotary Exchange Students seem to have successful
year here in Korea and to have achieved many things. I understand that many of you had difficult times to adapt to new culture, new customs, and new
environment. I am very proud of all of you that you have overcome such difficulties and played an important role as an ambassador. I know that you are not exception.

It's almost time for you guys to go back to your own country. I wish you all will finish our program successfully. However, Lori, I am sorry to mention this to you that your behavior and your way of adapting to school and your host family seem out of control now. Ms. Gabin Kim has been very patient up until now and your school teachers have been observing you and have tried to understand you. But their patience is limited. As far as I know, Ms. Kim warned you several times and I know that you do understand the regulations of YEP. You need to follow school regulations and host family regulations. If school or host family has been treating you unfairly or not reasonably, please let me know. I am open to hear your own opinion. Otherwise, if you want to finish YEP completely and successfully, I hope you do not make troubles any further and must follow guidelines from your homeroom teacher of St. Paul Girls' High School and host parents. This is the first and last warning to you. We will observe you for one more week and then we will make a decision whether you will stay till the last moment or have to leave to your home country before the program ends.

I hope you will finish this program successfully. Please let me know if you have any problem or question.

Sincerely,

Chang Won Park]

i've only missed 4 days of school. I think that's not so bad, considering it's my last month. I don't think sending me home early would do much good, I'm stressed as it is trying to get ready to go with 3 weeks left. Yah get me on a plane a week early will solve eeeeeveryones problems, im sure. Kim Gabin didn't know when I was leaving, Im sure he didn't know either, because with only 21 more days left, how much earlier could he possibly send me home?
wtf
sorry mom, sorry god.
hah.

well, i've been having the time of my life. on the 7th I went to seoul. getting there was an experience and a half. when i woke up on saturday i had no idea when or how i was getting to seoul. i called julian, but there were no buses to yong-in, the city he lives in. none to su-won, a neighboring city either. so i got the time for a bus to chon-an, packed my bag, got on a bus at 10:20. i met someone on the bus and talked to them for maybe 2 hours which thankfully made the trip seem much shorter. I took a bus to su-won from chon-an, then a bus to yong-in from su-won, so it was a pretty expensive trip jsut getting there. but i met julian at the bus stop, (at 3:30, so that was a good 5 hour bus ride.) and him, his mom, and me all went out to eat. his mom is really really nice. she doesnt' knwo any english,but is ok because Julians Korean is soo amazing. wow. koreans talk to him naturally like they would with any korean, and he understands and talks back and its woah, sooo impressive. i jsut told everyone I didnt know any korean. compared to julian, i really dont.

saturday felt like the longest day of my entire life. it was soo soo soo much fun, but really, really long. this is just all my day, in a nutshell. we drove to a store near the bus stop that is owned by a woman julian's mom knows. she's very "excentric" as julian put it. and he is right. wow shes crazy! she has the weirdest clothing. good though, like i'd definitely wear it. i bought a play boy bunny tank top there, and she gave me a necklace that was really cute. we have some coffee and then go to julians house. Ileave my stuff there, redo my makeup and all, and we head out for seoul, thats like a 40 minute bus ride from his house. we just walked around some, and walked to his girlfriends house to meet her. I've heard a lot about her, but didn't see much of her cuz we were running late to meet some of julians friends, so coudlnt stay long. she was mad she hadn't seen him at all that week, so that would explain it. we met his friends at 7 and walked to a soju hoff. 5 shots of soju later we went out clubbing. there was one near by that let us in even though me and julian didn't have id's with us. phew! it was really crowded and a lot of fun. first time i've been clubbing since i've been in korea. we met some new people, danced until around.......3?? since the buses for julians city stopped running at 11:30 we had definitely missed it. so we went to a kim-bab store and went to a pc bang at maybe...5. they're pretty inexpensive and open all night so we stayed there playing computer games or what ever until 7:30 that morning. jae-il and song-ku (julians friends, live in seoul, so they exited the scene at like 7 am) we get home at 8:30, sleep until 1. get ready and go back to seoul. this is sunday. we get off the bus, are walking to the subway, julian stops and points

"hey!! hes famous!!"
and this star, who i've seen in television soo many times, but can't remember his name, stops and points "hey! foreigners!" but in korean of course. and me-"????"
so he comes over and is interviewing julian (since i dont know korean i jsut stand there in total shock) and theres a camera going, and a huge crowd of koreans all taking pictures on their cell phones, it was definitely a sight. so yah, we're even more of celebrities now. haha no no, it was really crazy. we got pictures with him, at 30 minutes later, were on our way again. we take subways all over the place to get to a bank that will accept julians card, then do some shopping. we went out to eat at KFC and there was a foreigner there, so we were guessing where he was from by his accent. he looked american but i dont htink he had an american accent, it sounded more...russian maybe. but julian was certain he was from america. um, at 8 or so we met 2 more of julains friends, ju-eun, and hae-beom. hit up pizza hut, then went out to one of those 7,500 won per cup of coffee, coffee shops. it was really really beautiful though. we took lots f pictures (well i took lots of pictures where ever i went, i just need julian to send me them now) ju-eun invited me to visit her school the thursday of the 26th, then we will all go out clubbing the 27th, and i'll jsut hang out in seoul the 28th 29th. theres never a shortage of things to do and people to meet in seoul. really.

it was late and i didnt wanna go home so we called and asked if i could stay another day. i wanted to visit julians university. seemed like a good idea to him too. so on monday we went to school, and i couldnt go to the classes obviously, so i stayed in the computer lab until jae-il found me, and we just walked around a little bit. he had an assignment to do, so that left me on the computer some more. julian introduced me to some of his friends, dae-hun, and another but i cant remember the other's name. they were so so nice, andfunny, i got a lot of pictures with them. every time someone came in they'd hey take a picture of us take a picture with us. haha. ^^ they're all on my hompy, when i can i'll add some to yahoo. we ate lunch on campus, and i met a lot of julians friends. they were all sooooooooo nice i had so much fun. it would have been so much better if i had come for a year at a univeristy instead of a year in highschool. but i do want to come back for a year i think in college. classes were over at 4 for julian so we went back to his house, and went to seoul to meet his girlfriend. first we did some shopping, and then we met her for a few drinks. jae-il met us and by 9:30 we realized we were going to be sooooooo late for my bus to nonsan if we didnt leave then. so we leave, take subway after subway, running up stairs across streets, get lost in the mall place where teh bus stop is, run up escalaters, it was the most work i've done probably all month. we get there, and the bus last bus left 14 minutes ago!! just 14~~~ we were so close! dammit. so we call kg and she tells my fam i'll stay another night and will go back the next day. oops. sorry. instead of going back to julians house and taking the bus again realy early me and jae-il went to a gym-chil-bang near the bus place. that way we wouldnt have to wake up so early. it was another really long walk back to the gymchilbang. but of course you can't sleep realy well there with the marble floors and otehr people snoring and all. i only slept for liek 3 hours, and at 10 i got on an express bus back to nonsan. this one was only 12,000 won and only took 3 hours. very nice. nexttime i go i'll definitely take that bus.

i walked to school when i got back to get a key from ji-na, went home showered, and then got a call from dany and emilio. they were at my school and were looking for me. so i do my hair, walk to school to get htem. we leave their stuff at my house, and walk to the shi-nae.its really the only interestng place to go in nonsan. got some socks, a pair of heels so i wont have to wear sneakers next time i go clubbing. more fashionable ya know? spent the remainder of last months money there, and now i'm hopign the school wont be so mad that i missed so much schoool, and will still pay me for may. i neeeeed it. and we walked home. we talked a lot, and then at 10 they went out armed with coins to make phone calls to mexico because it was mothers day.
i love you mom
happy ((belated)) mothers day!!! ^^

idno what time they got back cuz i fell asleep and slept straight until noon today. i neeeeeeeeeded sleep. like woah. the school, mr soh, lectured me because my friends couldnt be there. they were disrupting class. so we left,and since they were sitll here today i figured it would be dumb for me to go to school and just leave them at home. also there was no way they were going to wake me up this morning, i was so dead. me and dany and emilio planned to meet friday, i'd go to gunsan, then to jeon-ju with dany and her family, coming home sunday night, since it's ji-na's birthday. it started thunderig and raining as we left.

i love thunder, idno why, but, its the first time it's thundered since i've been in korea...i really forgot how much i love it. we waited for their bus for an hour, and talked. they're my best friends, the exchange students i met this year, i'm going to miss them so so so much when i go back. (except for rose, cuz im gonna see her all the time, i mean hell i might just move in with her^^) so we are making so many plans to meet though, between now and when i leave. and hopefully they can some with me when i leave. (emilio and dany) i dont knwo how i'm getting to the airport though, but whats 2 more people?? my family probably wont come, unless its just my mom or something, since my sisters all have school. i went with rose when she left and it is meaningful that i have someone come with me. so wehn i know whose taking me i can arrange for them to come too.

so that was a "short" version of my weekened. now tomorrow we have our school trip and then firday its off to gunsan again. soh sonsaengnim told me yesterday that the school would pay for me to go on the trip to everland, the theme park, which is really good cuz its like 40,000 won, and i dont really have that much on hand right now.

------------------------------------
thats everything i think.

more later.

will add pictures to may album so check back some time

For freedom and for pleasure Nothing ever lasts forever Everybody wants to rule the world
Mood:  suave
it always feels like this, when i get back from soecheon. it whipes me out, and i can't figure out why. and i love seeing my old host family, but their constant, "we're late we're late!!" (for a very important date!!) always makes me feel like im in the middle of a really upside down lewis carroll book. and seeing emilio and dany is good cuz i always miss them so much when im in nonsan, and seeing them seperatly is very fun. but when they are together, forget it! constantCONSTANTCONSTANT spanish. its sooo....dap-dap-hae. it just gets on my nerves. all weekend, it's been me in the middle of a million of other language conversations, and no one is talking in english. that wears me out, mentally, no doubt. and never knowing what im doing next, i've never had a problem with that. but i had somewheres i HAD to get today, (but i missed my deadline, obviously,or else i wouldnt be here writing this right now...... i'd be shopping in dae-jon for a suitcase like i really should be doing. rar.) igoo.

it was just too much, that i was so uninvolved in, once we got to the dong-gang camp. i wish we hadn't had to do that. we could have just stayed in gun-san and i could have visited dany and emilio's school, like monday. cuz that was fun. i didnt even want to go see the middle school kids.

but it was really busy. so much happened that was good too. so much so much so much. maybe too much, for just 3-4 days. first, i arrived at seocheon and emlio met me at the bus stop. we walked to the apartment to meet ji-eun and the indian girl, juhi. on the way we passed isaac's sandwich shop, and a girl was eating there, saw us stood up started waving her arms like mad. i ask emilio, do you know her? emilio- no do you know her? me- no....... so we keep walking, we get closer, and realize, it was one of the girls we went to middleschool with she's in highschool now, and changed so so so so so much, she could have been 1o years older, if she hadn't been waving to us i would never have known it was her. it was shocking! amazing what a hair cut can do for someone. when we got the apartment we met juhi, whose really nice. i dont think she'll get as much attention as the original exchange students got cuz she is very dark skinned, and well, thats really common. korea is more interested in light skinned foreigners, those who they are sure know english. thats terrible to say but its true. ok. when ji-euns mom came home we all went shopping at e-mart in gunsan. got 2 cute shirts, we ate at mcdonalds, then brought emilio back to chong-ho's house at around 6. it was raining when we got back, so me and juhi went outside to play in the rain. it was all fine, and the weather was so warm. juhi loves to talk about india, really, maybe more than necessary, and i told her some of the things about korea she might not realize since she's only staying for 6 weeks. we had sam-kyeop-sal for supper, (it has 3 layers!!!! haha. its pork, and my host dad tells me every singe time we eat it. and then he'll point them out to me. meat, fat, meat. uh, thank you. i figured it out the first time we ate it. so i warned juhi about that.) me and juhi stayed up really late talking, that was probably a bad idea. had i known before hand how busy i would be i would have gotten more sleep. im surprised they didn't order pizza at 11, it was a tradition when i use to live there. they got some the next day though, before i went to gunsan. seocheon has really good looking pizza delivery guys. always always. i've never gotten delivery pizza in nonsan, so i don't know about here..

on sunday i left with emilio to go to gunsan. we got there at 4:30 and had to go to the shi-nae at 5, where **shhhhh** emilio has a job. can't say where, cuz just saying he has a job, is more than he'd want me to write in a public blog. but we stayed there until dany adn the spanish teacher arived. then dany had to tell me all about her love life drama at her school, and everything. (my life here is sooo blan and boring compared to hers. im sure there'd be more drama all around if it was boys and girls school.) when she wasn't talking to me they were all talking in spanish. im never ever in my life, going to be interested in spanish after this year. i'll stick with german thanks. so by 11 we were all pretty um, tired... so the owner of the place emilio is working gave us a ride to the spanish teachers apartment, that him and emilio share. i stayed there sunday night. they both had to go to school at 7:30, but i slept in till 9 or so. 2 lil notes were waiting for me on the table when i did get up, "good morning lori...if you want something to eat ~~~ here are the house keys~~ " and stuff. it was cute. kkk

i met emilio and dany at the entrance to the school entrance at 11:30, and went to all the classrooms being introduced. its a lot of attention. but it was ok. i was with dany all day, meeting people, eating meals with her. people would go up to emilio, so how do you like dany's friend. he's like, waht?! shes my friend too! but no one believed him. wtf. "hey its MY FRIEND emilio!" when ever i saw him in a classroom. and of course all the girls, oh woooow so beautiful. such a small face. beautiful eyes. beautiful hair.~~~~ so on so on. haha.

i walk into the bathroom where dany is doing her hair, dany says "lori your so pretty" then mouths to me, "say 'i know'" so me- "i know" then from a stall

"**gasp**"

shiza. haha no no just kidding! i dont really think like that! cuz, the girl who over heard that, she had seen dany and told her to tell me, she thought 'i was really pretty.' dany told her, 'yah she knows shes pretty.' so it was like, 'i told you so' that made me look like a total ass. crap. thanks dany.

we were, me dany and emilio, all laughing about past memories, something about dong-gang, and us "hah....middleschool!" then later we were talking something about elementary school, and emilio "hah! elementary school!" so i guess we are friends from way back! even in the elementary school days. we went through elementary school and middleschool together.... we've been friends forever! haha.

all the teachers at the school were happy to meet me, they loved me. the students too of couse/
shin-young...song-yeol....tea-rim....ji-yang (danys host sister) aww man i hve to go back and see them. i forgot to bring my camera but i thought it would be ok cuz i was going to be there another day, and i could take pictures later. but it didnt happen cuz of friggen donggang camp, dammit. of course i'll see danys host sister again, cuz some time i'll go visit her in jeon-ju. maybe the 26. but staying at the school was too much fun. seeing everyone i've heard soo much about! finally being able to put faces to names, and such. it was good. me and dany got to spend some quality time together. the love of her life (tae-rim, aka teddy) had to help us get directions to where emilio works, (like we dont know how to get there. )but yah any excuse is a good excuse right? so ok, i still have the map its tooo too funny. there are these 2 circles, there 3 other ones further downt he page. wow, thanks teddy. these are fool proof. we just can't get lost with these! thanks!!
weird, cuz he's teaching dany and emilio guitar, and teddy in the usa was teaching me guitar! and teddy from donggang also knows guitar too!! i only know 3 teddy's and they all play guitar. it must be a teddy thing. kk

emilio had to go to work at 5, but me and dany didnt leave school until 8 then walked to the apartment and left from there around 9. but of course we got lost cuz the taxi driver didnt' knwo where nong-dam was. we waited around at emilios work place for the spanish teacher to get back from buying furniture, then just, stayed there until 11, and went back to the apartment again.

so tuesday morning, emilios dad comes to pick us up and we have to go to seocheon. He delivers us to KG who brings us to the camp site where we leave our stuff. then dany and the other indian girl, kesha, (whose not stayng at donggang, was only there for this festival,) changed into their dance clothing. they each did a traditional dance from their country. ive' seen dnys so many times but keshas was good too. it was longer, and not quite as upbeat, but it was interesting. i got pictures of both. the festival was soo soo hot! and me, unprepaired for going to a festival (what? what festival?? we have to go hwere?!!) hdant put any sunblock on. im what mom would call, a healthy pink. which means i look like i am a lobster, and could get sun cancer any day. no no chang-nan chang-nan, but it was miserable being in the sun all day, and being with koreans, mexicans and indians, who compeltely dont understand the concept of a real sunburn. we didn't stay long, later we went back to the camp and decided to stay the night, instead of going back to gunsan. later later, after supper and it had gotten dark they had a bonfire, and then a noraebang, and me and dany sang some songs but it was mostly dany singing, even if i knew the whole song it coudln't have heard me singing. but i dont care. then everyone stayed up playing korean games, and went to bed at 1 am. so lack of sleep, sunburn, pretty uncomfortable.

i had to get back to nonsan by noon. but that was too much to ask. first we couldnt leave the camp place until all the students had finished cleaing. but we didnt have to clean, we still had to be there. i only needed to shower and get to the bus stop before 12:30. thats it. so we leave by 10:30 perfect. but surprise! we have to stop by donggang and write up some complaints so KG can submit them cuz she wants to "chang eher school" its not like we were even bothered by the situations she wanted us to voice complaints about. so we had to write letters to the principle, which took untl 11:30. hey if we go to ji-euns house now i can still get to the bus stop by 12:30! no, we go drop emilio off, then bring me to my house. its just so many litle things, so many things keeping me from gettin to the bus stop on time. it was sooo sooo soo beyond aggrivating. i missed my 12:30 bus. no surprise. got the bus to buyeo, and arrived to nonsan at 2:40. but no one was home when i got home! cuz the left at 2:30!!! AHHHHHHHH i tried soo hard. it made me so aggrivated at EVERYONE. jajjungna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so jina called me and was like, 'why dont you take abus here?' well why cant you come back and get me?! its not far! errrr. dap-dap-hae. they brought ji-yoon instead. hmph. effers.

but, i did make an imprssion...
the owner of the place emilio called me just now, asking if i was coming back tomorrow.
well no...iam in nonsan. i can't just hop on a bus for a day in gunsan, but we planned that i will visit emilio next week, so i can visit then. koreans are too nice. it took me totally by surprise. the phone rings, i just tell them who ever they are looking for isnt home. "lori issoeyo?" (is lori there?) "an kyess-o- wait! thats me!" bong called today too, he hasn't had mid terms yet, but after some time he wants to visit nonsan before i leave. very nice of him. ive really got so much planned so i dont know if that will work. next weekend its on to seoul to visit julian. and i talked to kwang-hun, who stayes in seoul and maybe we will meet next weekend, and song-jin too.

my life, changing every day in every possible way, and in my dreams it never quite as it seems, never quite as it seems
Mood:  not sure
still, a little nervous about going home. its just. idno.

I thought this trip would be me "walking" on my own. standing on my own 2 feet, just in a different place. instead it was more like a high, it gave me a new perspective, and i've just been falling ever since. i've been pushed in one direction by that change of perception, as i change everything around me is changing too. what i become is just as new as my surroundings, but i'm "nearing the ground" and thats the end. now is when i really will have to start standing on my own feet and face the world, but these arent my feet im standing on any more. its not a new place, a new territory, that worries me now, but going back to an old territory with new, wobbily knees.

there it think that sums up pretty well about how i feel about going home. if you dont understand that you're a lost cause.


when i dream, usualy i never know im dreaming. often i wake up and i still dont now whether it was a dream or not. im just slow, or gullable like that maybe. but a few nights ago i had a dream i was back in the usa. i have a lot of dreams like that. but in this one i was like, but i cant be back yet! i still had a month left in korea! what did i do in that month! and obviously i couldnt come up with any memories. (wouldnt it have been cool if i did though?) so my dream self though, so this is a dream, and i must really still be in korea. now thats insane. its like my real self telling me, this is all not real, and i actually havent been born yet. so of course my dream self thought that was a lunitic idea. but then, i woke up and would you believe it? i was still in korea! how ironic

well my bus leaves for soechoen on 30 minutes, so i better head to the bus stop, buy my tickets and stuff.

I'm a snowball running, running down into the spring that's coming
Mood:  not sure
didn't do anything this weekend with everyone busy cramming for tests and everything.. and it looks like i dont have to go to school tomorrow either becuase they are haveing some other type of tests. the library will be closed so i have to find some other place to hang out. dont really want to attempt the quality time with the parents again. so maybe...hit up shi-nae or something. i did talk to emilio yesterday and we are planning to hang out next weekend till wednesday, since then my school has midterms and i dont have to go monday tuesday and wednesday. thursday my family plans to go shopping in dae-jon so i'm going to buy a suitcase there. i need to get a cheap one cuzi hav so many things i want to buy before i leave, and not a lot of money to do so. i forgot to ask yea-lim about the hanboks... so maybe ill email her. I don't really know whats going on with dany. we never talk any more. but then again, she's got another whole life going on in gunsan, what did i expect?

i'm soooo bored. everyone here studying all the time. if i had another exchange student or something id be better off i'm pretty sure. im really jealous dany and emilio got to go to the same school.

only 38 days until i go back to the usa. talked to tracy some last week. i think she's lucky she's got adianna, and shes jealous i never have to do any school work.

need to find soooomething to do! ah!

i'll try calling dany and emilio when i get home. just for someone to talk to. my mom and her rules though. she doesnt like me beng on the phone for more than 15 minutes. but i havent used the phon for like a month, so i've been saving up my minutes.

i moved my homepage to geocities because tripod is such a piece of crap, it frustrates me to no end. if you got to my blog you probably have been to my new site. is a lot easier and tripod was always giving me crap about my pictures taking up too much space. yahoo never has that problem. ^^